“Name your hero and why?”
“Who do you look up to and why?”
“Describe a person who has influenced you and how their influence affected your life.”
We’ve all seen these questions before. They’re on college applications and in job interviews and the like. I have never been able to answer these questions. Up until recently, I’ve never had a “hero” or “influential person” that I could write/talk about. I think it’s because I’ve always done my own thing. I’ve never quite had anyone that I wanted to emulate or “grow up to be.”
Does that make me self-centered. You may think so, but I don’t. It’s never been an “I’m better than everyone” thing for me. I’ve seen people’s accomplishments and thought, “good for them.” There’s just never been a “I want to be just like her” or “meeting this person made me want to do this with my life.” I just never had it.
I’ve generally just gone with the flow of things. I graduated high school and went to college, because that’s what I was going to do. I majored in psychology, because it seemed interesting. I decided to go to law school because I didn’t want to go to grad school for psychology. Ok. Decided to work for the state as a prosecutor because I am passionate about it. Fine. Got married, had a kid. It was the right time for me.
Me. Me, Me. Ok, so maybe a little self-centered. But all through my educational years, I never encountered someone that I looked up to as a hero, etc. Well, I had actually, but I didn’t realize it until later.
Now, married, a toddler running around, and working for over a year and a half, I can honestly say that there are two women who I look up two. The first is a judge I had the pleasure of appearing before. She had two young children and was able to run her courtroom in such a way that she didn’t have to miss any of their important events. She had the support of fellow judges in that she could find coverage if she had a family emergency or a doctors appointment to attend. Brava. It is possible to be in my line of work and be present for your children. That is a goal of mine. I want to be around. I am happy to have had that influence in my life to keep me going and to know that, yes, I can have a family and my chosen career.
The second woman is someone that I knew from birth. My Nana (maternal grandmother). This is interesting for me. She and I used to butt heads. She was a very strong willed woman. Small, and dark, like you’d picture most Sicilian women, she had a fiery temper and vivacious personality to match. It wasn’t until I was older, married, a mother, and working until I realized exactly what kind of influence she was.
My nana could do everything and anything. Give her a sewing machine and she could whip out a formal gown. Not kidding. She made my mom’s prom dress. A dress that was so beautiful in it’s simplistic design, and so well made that I was able to wear the same exact dress to my senior year homecoming dance. She made Halloween costumes for my sisters and I for years. She even made clothes for our Barbie dolls when we got bored of what we had.
Put her in a kitchen and she could feed an army with the most delicious food you’d ever tasted. She was a natural in the kitchen. Cooking and baking. It was so easy for me. I used to watch her in the kitchen and not think anything of it. It’s what she did. I was fortunate enough to pick up some things from her in the kitchen, but I didn’t get the full education I now wish I could have.
That woman did everything in the house. Her level of functioning was unbelievable. When I started undergrad, my school was only about 15 minutes from her house. I used to go over there all the time. I even spent the night a few times. I remember one time I spent the night, I got up at 9 or 10 (the normal time for college freshman) and she had already washed the clothes I had worn the night before, washed both cars, made breakfast for her and my nano, left some for me, cleaned the kitchen and god only knows what else. It totally blew my mind.
It’s not that I never appreciated her when I was younger. It’s just that my perspective changed after I had a family of my own to look after. I know that I will never be able to be like her. There is no way that I can do all of the things that she could do. But now, I strive for that. I have an idea in my head of what I want to be like. For the first time in my life.