I’m fine, not sick at all.

I tend to ignore the fact that I am sick. I push warning signs of illness out of my head, and convince myself that I’m fine, it must be all in my head.

I can’t possibly be the only person who does this.

That being said, I don’t ignore anything where it concerns my son. I keep an eye on him when he starts showing symptoms and I take him to the doctor when necessary.

It’s just me.

I suspect it’s a mom thing.

Take today, for example. Well, this weekend, really.

When I got home from work on Friday I felt pretty crappy. And by crappy, I mean that I sat down for a few minutes, and then had to spend 20 minutes rehabilitating myself with crackers and Gatorade so I could have sufficient energy to feed my dog. Then I had to rest up so I could take her out. Odd?Problematic? Nope, I was sure that it was a fluke thing.

On comes Saturday. I woke up & didn’t feel too great. Went in to work anyway (had trials to prepare for). By the end of a few hours at work I was feeling pretty weak. And my skin hurt. You know, that “every individual cell on my skin is sensitive and I can’t let anything touch it” kind of hurt. My thought, I must be starting to get a cold. By the time I went to bed I was practically shaking and my throat was getting sore.

I barely slept all night. It was awful.

Woke up on Sunday. Didn’t feel warm, but felt like I might have a fever. Took my temperature (with a Sponge Bob thermometer) and Sponge Bob told me I had a very low fever of 99.3. My normal temperature is around 97.6, and I rarely get a fever. Warning sign? Nah. Felt worse all day. Could barely swallow or talk. Fever went up to 99.5. Up, not down. Did I even consider going to a doctor? Nope.

My mom brought me some soup. She told me I should go to the doctor. I said no, I’ll be fine. I’ll just take medicine on Monday because I have work to do – juries to pick, cases to try. Very busy week.

Not too long after my mom left, I checked my temperature again. 100.1. Finally, warning bells went off in my head. If I have a fever of 100.1 at 4pm, what is it going to be like at 9pm, when I’m trying to sleep. So, I called my mom to pick me up and take me to a walk-in clinic.

The scale at the walk-in clinic was very wrong and evil.

I digress.

So the doctor comes in to see me. Stands about 3 feet away from me with arm holding throat looker-atter extended, to look in my throat. Orders a strep culture. Turns out, I have strep throat. Hence the fever and the super sore & swollen throat. Go figure. Doctor tells me that he will prescribe an antibiotic and that I needed to stay home a couple days. My response? Well, that’s not going to work.

I know how terrible strep throat can be. Littleman had it about a month and a half ago. He was super miserable. But I was ready to trudge on through work. I was still planning on getting up at an insane hour, go in to work and pick 3 juries if need be.

Finally, logic kicked in. I asked, “am I contagious?” Doctor, replied, “highly.” One of the women in my division is very pregnant. The only reason I even considered staying home, was to make sure that I didn’t spread this around to her.

My brain knows that I need to stay home and relax so that my body can heal and I can get better. But it’s hard to put the go-go-go part of my life on hold for something so simple as a fever.

One day I will learn to take care of myself when I am sick.

Maybe.